How to help a grieving friend

While you can’t take away the pain of the loss, you can give much-needed comfort and support just by keeping in touch and listening when they want to talk.

What can I do to help the family/loved ones of the deceased? The first few months following a death are a time when grieving friends and relatives need you most. Let them know that your support did not end with the funeral. While talking to someone in a state of grief can be uncomfortable, don’t let discomfort prevent you from reaching out. You might not know exactly what to say or what to do, but that’s okay. You don’t need to have answers or give advice. While you can’t take away the pain of the loss, you can give much-needed comfort and support just by keeping in touch and listening when they want to talk.

It’s difficult for many grieving people to ask for help. They might feel guilty about receiving so much attention, or may be too depressed to ask for help. You can make it easier for them by making specific suggestions such as “I’m going shopping this afternoon. Do you need anything?” or “I’ve made stew for dinner. I’d like to drop by and bring you some. Would that be okay?”

There are many other practical ways you might be able to help, such as:

  • Filling out forms or making phone calls
  • Helping clean out their loved one’s closet
  • Running errands
  • Driving them to an appointment
  • Taking them for a walk
  • Inviting them to lunch or a movie
  • Spending time together doing a fun activity (card game, puzzle, art project)

You can also give an open invitation by saying, “Let me know what I can do,” which may make a grieving person feel more comfortable about asking for help. Be careful not to be pushy. Allow them to decide what’s best for them. Never pressure someone into an activity for which they don’t feel ready. In the weeks and months after the loss, you may feel you should avoid using the name of the deceased so you don’t cause any more sadness. This is not necessary, family and friends need to know their loved one is still remembered. By mentioning the name you’ll let them know they’re on your mind too and create an opening if they want to talk.

Be aware that certain events and days of the year like holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries, can be very difficult, so be sensitive to these times. Let the person know you are aware of the special day and that you’re thinking of them. Ask whether they’d like company or prefer to be alone. It’s thoughtful acts like this that let them know they’re not alone.

The pain of losing someone close never goes away, but the love and support of friends and family can make it more bearable and even help them move on.

Article Provided by:
Mountain View Funeral Home,
Memorial Park & Crematory
253-448-3994
www.MountainViewTacoma.com


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A legacy to remember

Millions of everyday families find comfort in having a place of remembrance to visit on special days like birthdays and anniversaries.

To remember and be remembered are basic human needs. Since the beginning of time, memorials have been based on the belief that no one truly dies until their memory has faded from the hearts and minds of the people who knew and loved them.

The pyramids of Egypt and the Taj Mahal are two famous memorials, but memorials needn’t be extravagant to be meaningful. Millions of everyday families find comfort in having a place of remembrance to visit on special days like birthdays and anniversaries.

While the value of permanent memorials hasn’t changed, memorials themselves are taking a new direction. Unique, highly personalized memorials are replacing the standard headstones of yesteryear. Today’s memorial formats range from upright monuments featuring photographic images to garden benches, from flat bronze markers, to glass-front niches. Custom built monuments are also available.

“A good memorial professional will take the time to get to know your preferences and guide you to options that reflect the life and personality of the individual being honored, within your budget,” says Rich Snider, Sales Manager at Mountain View Memorial Park in Tacoma.

We asked Snider how they create personalized memorials at Mountain View. He said, “We start by asking about what was important to the individual. What made them smile? What were they passionate about? When we talk to various family members and get their thoughts, the perfect theme always rises to the surface. Then we show them some options with that theme.”

The needs and comfort of visitors is another consideration in selecting a memorial. Some families choose memorial benches to provide a place for guests to sit and reflect, while others choose an indoor mausoleum to protect visitors from the elements. Still others select an outdoor space near the roadway to allow easy access for family members who may find a long walk difficult.

When planning a memorial, it’s important to consider both present and future visitors. One of the reasons most people prefer cemeteries for their permanent memorials is the assurance that their memorial will be preserved indefinitely. That means your great-great granddaughter can come to pay her respects and connect with her ancestry whenever she wants. This may not be possible if you opt for scattering in the ocean or a memorial tree in your backyard.

Simple or elaborate, a customized memorial will be a comforting reminder of your loved one and the legacy he or she left behind.


Article Provided by:
Mountain View Funeral Home,
Memorial Park & Crematory
253-448-3994
www.MountainViewTacoma.com


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Search Residential Care Facilities for Grants Pass
Search Residential Care Facilities for Klamath Falls
Search Residential Care Facilities for Medford
Search Residential Care Facilities for Roseburg