“Live in the moment and be present in all that you do. Don’t worry yourself with what happened yesterday or what’s going to happen tomorrow. Stay focused with what’s in front of you.”
– Michael Trevino
I often don’t enjoy right now enough, because I am busy planning for what comes next. What we thought may be on the horizon can always change- so relish every moment, especially the little things. When I enjoy the little things- the bigger things require less planning.
“The difference between an opportunity and an obstacle is your attitude. Your faith has to be greater than your fear.”
I honestly believe- “things happen, it is up to me to decide if they are good or bad.” Sometimes through these challenges, we see new lessons: we see how strong we can be, we see support in people and places we never recognized, we see a new path and way of doing things, we learn new skills and habits, and we appreciate the small things more. It is up to us to see the opportunity.
“Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” – Joshua Marine
What if adversity isn’t happening TO you, but instead it’s happening FOR you? Every challenge can be a lesson you needed to learn, every rejection was actually protection, and you were given THIS mountain to show others that it can be moved? I don’t believe everything happens for a reason, but I DO believe we can find meaning and purpose in everything that happens.
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” – Oprah Winfrey
Sometimes gratitude can just be a matter of perspective.
I Am Thankful For..
…the mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends.
…the taxes I pay because it means that I am employed.
…the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat.
…my shadow who watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.
…a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means that I have a home.
…the spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking.
…all the complaining I hear about our government because it means we have freedom of speech.
…my huge heating bill because it means that I am warm.
…the lady behind me in church who sings off key because it means I can hear.
…the piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby.
…the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it means that I’m alive.
…weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been productive.
Family Circle – November 1999
So, you just got the news from the doctor, and you walk away feeling like Wiley Coyote post-falling-grand-piano-accident. You’re shocked and crushed, but also somewhat validated. You knew something was wrong, but you’d hoped…not this.
Your loved one has dementia.
You instantly picture the first conversations about this after diagnosis. The arguments. The heartache. You imagine telling your family and friends. Who will make the decisions? Will your newly diagnosed loved one LET YOU delegate, or even HELP?
Maybe you have quite the support system. Maybe you’re utterly alone. Either way, inevitably, dementia will progress, and your loved one will change.
Dementia is virtually impossible to predict, and it affects everyone very differently. There are many different kinds of dementia. And dementia is full of unpleasant surprises, sometimes on a daily basis.
No matter how much patience, understanding, compassion, and–for goodness sake—LOVE you have in your heart for this person, your loved one is going to need a kind of help that you simply are not able to provide. You cannot provide this for them because you are not a trained professional. You have a job, a life, other responsibilities you need to attend to. You have your own health to contend with. And you cannot provide the care they really need, because—let’s face it—it’s too personal.
So, stop beating yourself up. It’s time to think about THE BIG MOVE. It’s time to look into memory care communities.
But sometimes your loved one seems to be ok.
The problem is dementia is unpredictable. Today they may have forgotten that they asked the same question over and over. But tomorrow they may take a double dose of their pills because they forgot they took the first one. Or wander along a busy street looking for who knows what.
So, what can you do?
First, educate yourself. I highly recommend The 36 Hour Day by Nancy L. Mace and Peter V. Rabins.
Two, look at multiple memory care communities. They are not all the same, and one may stand apart in a way that will fit your loved one perfectly.
Three, DO NOT—I repeat—DO NOT WAIT TOO LONG. As their dementia progresses, their care needs will increase. You do not want to have to make this decision because it’s suddenly an emergency.
Finally, be confident that you will make the best decision for your loved one.
Article Provided by:
Waterhouse Ridge
©Kyah Feldes 2018
503-747-0648
www.WaterhouseRidge.com
The Current Problem: A 2014 study by the Equal Rights Center found that 48% of LGBT-identified seniors “experienced unfavorable differential treatment in terms of availability of housing, pricing, financial incentives, amenities or application requirements.” Many LGBT older adults are forced to hide their sexual orientation and/or gender identity to avoid mistreatment, harassment and discrimination in senior living environments.
The Solution: SAGE Metro Portland developed the Housing Equality Survey Tool, used to vet and identify LGBT-friendly housing providers in our area. In 2015, SAGE Metro Portland published the nation’s first local consumer guide to finding safe and welcoming housing for LGBT people as they age. The survey is now being replicated in other parts of the country.
In an effort to broaden our reach to consumers and to include more housing providers, we are launching a new partnership with our friends at Retirement Connection who have agreed to add a highlight “LGBT Designated” housing communities. This will provide more choices for LGBT older adult consumers when shopping for housing. To become “LGBT Designated” communities have shown a commitment to going above to become more educated and inclusive. This process includes minor adjustments to some and policies, as well as, ongoing staff trainings. The communities that chose to become “LGBT Designated” prior to printing the current edition, are listed on the page to the right. More will be added as we grow the program and increase awareness.
SAGE Metro Portland, a program of Friendly House, seeks to enrich the lives of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) people aged 60+ throughout the Metro region. For over 15 years, SAGE Metro Portland has been the preeminent social service organization focused on developing strengths and overcoming challenges for this vulnerable population.
We Offer:
Do you live or work in an LGBT-friendly senior living Community? If so, we want to hear from you!
To become an LGBT Designated Senior Living Community, or for more information, email:
mmicozzi@friendlyhouseinc.org
Article Provided by:
SAGE Metro Portland
(Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders)
mmicozzi@friendlyhouseinc.org
It is nearly impossible to be objective when helping a family member make the transition from their own home to a senior care situation. What makes this so difficult?
We have hope for improvement. When we love someone, we never want to “give up” on them. We hold a deep-seated belief that if we keep looking for solutions, treatments or therapies, our loved one will get better. Unfortunately, the aging process of both the body and the mind is a downhill path. What makes things confusing is that in our world of information and options, we are compelled to continue seeking solutions. Further clouding the situation is that the downhill decline is not always noticeable. Older adults have good days and bad days.
When a loved one has good days, we don’t want to disrupt the quality of life we see them experiencing.
We remember them as they were. It’s easy for us to take notice when a friend is struggling with caring for an aging parent; when it’s our own parent, we frequently can’t see the obvious changes that are occurring. We remember the strong and capable adult of the past.
We don’t want to acknowledge the changes because then there will have to be difficult and disruptive decisions that needs to be made.
Family dynamics can cloud the real issues. Family members may disagree on what care is needed, and it is often the case that one or more people may purposefully attempt to convince the family to allow the older adult to remain in their own home. Sometimes in-home care is a good solution, and other times it is not a workable or feasible long-term solution.
Allowing our own personal preferences to cloud our thinking is not helpful to a frail senior. Enlisting knowledgeable outside help who look at your situation and help introduce you to specific senior care communities will reduce the amount of family conflict.
How you benefit from having a neutral third party. Referral agents begin by asking questions to become clear on how they can best help you. Generally, our services are paid for by the provider. Whether you choose to look at options on your own or whether you enlist the help of a referral agency, the rent and care fees you pay are the same.
The senior referral industry is regulated by The Oregon Department of Human Services. All senior referral agencies are required to register with the OREGON Department of Human Services. All agents must meet DHS guidelines to register and must follow the rules set forth by DHS to ensure families are receiving quality information by qualified individuals. Referral agents do not make decisions for you, but they help frame situations to allow you to understand what options you have and they support you in your decision-making process.
Be extremely cautious about searching the Internet for options. Placing your name into various websites can launch a barrage of phone calls of solicitations from businesses and agencies that aren’t even of interest to you.
Article Provided by:
1st Choice Senior Care
800-361-0138
www.ChoiceAdvisory.com
For many Americans, their house is their greatest asset. They’ve spent years working to build the equity in their home and, at a certain point, it may become time to put that equity to work. Often, savings, Social Security and pensions can’t keep up with the increasing cost of living and living longer. NRMLA President and CEO Peter Bell states, “If you consider that the typical retiree household might have one or two incomes from Social Security, a modest pension and/or limited income from low-yielding fixed-income instruments, and, perhaps, a diminished 401(k) account, then home equity becomes their greatest asset and an important resource for funding their future.”
According to the Bipartisan Policy Center2, more than 70% of Americans 65 and over will require help with bathing, food preparation, dressing and medication management; whether it’s a home health aide, community-based day care or nursing facility, long-term service costs can drain retirement savings. A recent AARP3 survey found that 3 in 4 adults age 50 and older want to stay in their homes as they age, but only 46% anticipate being able to do so. That’s where home equity solutions can help.
The Home Equity Conversion Mortgage (HECM) loan is a viable tool in retirement planning. HECM loans are government-insured and have several important requirements borrowers must meet to qualify:
Retirees often need access to additional funds to supplement health insurance in order to cover expenses like in-home care. Many incorrectly believe that medical insurance will cover in-home or long-term care. A HECM can be the solution for retirees hoping to age in place, in the comfort of their home. Because no two situations are alike, there are several different types of HECM loans available to meet individual needs. Proceeds can be taken in a lump sum, established as a growing line of credit, received as fixed monthly payments, or a combination of these.
There are many features of HECM loans that can help those who are looking for an income supplement for a better retirement. Here are just a few!
You cannot lose your home under normal circumstances and so long as you pay your property taxes, homeowner’s insurance, maintenance costs and otherwise comply with the loan terms.
For full disclosure visit
www.americanadvisorsgroup.com/disclosure.
Article Provided By:
American Advisors Group (AAG)
503-396-6333
www.AAG.com
Providing care for a loved one can become quite grueling for both the family caregiver and the patient. Caregivers may find themselves feeling burned out from the stress of consistent assistance, often falling into troubling sleeping patterns and neglecting their own self-care. Respite Care provides a mutually beneficial third party resource for caregiver and patient, in which additional short-term assistance is made available in forms such as adult day centers, in-home care and counseling services, or as recovery from a hospital stay. It’s clear that a family caregiver is only as effective as his or her own self-health, and as the emotional weight of an aging loved one persists, taking a break to relax and recalibrate becomes invaluable.
Where to Find Respite Care?
Short term stays at assisted living or nursing facilities, along with additional information including webinars and Medicaid/Medicare assistance can be found at the ARCH National Respite Network’s Respite Locator: https://archrespite.org/us-map. By simply entering the age of the patient, along with the State, Zip Code, and preferred mile radius, you will find plenty of Respite options at your fingertips.
What does Respite Care Provide?
Respite care amenities may vary by community but will typically provide 24-hour supervision, bathing assistance, meals, and medication management. This resource can be for an afternoon or up to a couple weeks.
What are the benefits of Respite Care?
Respite care provides the necessary perspective into the reality of a caregiving situation. The emotional and physical toll of caring for a loved one can never be overlooked. Maintaining a special connection against the persistence of relentless dementia is profoundly draining. As a caregiver finds their own lives changing and slipping away from them, the quality of care often dwindles, as exhaustion and frustration can start to damage this relationship in the last couple years they have together.
Access to Respite as a temporary resource allows the caregiver to simply get back to their own lives for some time. From simple sleep and relaxation to going out with friends or running errands, this bit of freedom is a way to recharge the batteries and reassess the balance necessary to maintain their own self-health.
It’s hard to acknowledge that family caregiving is often a necessary undertaking in which all parties involved wished it wasn’t necessary. Respite provides a valuable outlet for the guilt a caregiver is prone to feel when they stop and think about themselves in these troubling times. The assistance of Respite care can assure that the threshold of caregiving remains an active task to help a loved one in their final years, as opposed to a burden.
Article Provided By:
Retirement Connection
www.RetirementConnection.com
