Author: Meghan Parsons

Opportunity

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“The difference between an opportunity and an obstacle is your attitude. Your faith has to be greater than your fear.”

I honestly believe- “things happen, it is up to me to decide if they are good or bad.” Sometimes through these challenges, we see new lessons: we see how strong we can be, we see support in people and places we never recognized, we see a new path and way of doing things, we learn new skills and habits, and we appreciate the small things more. It is up to us to see the opportunity.

Challenges

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“Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” – Joshua Marine

What if adversity isn’t happening TO you, but instead it’s happening FOR you? Every challenge can be a lesson you needed to learn, every rejection was actually protection, and you were given THIS mountain to show others that it can be moved? I don’t believe everything happens for a reason, but I DO believe we can find meaning and purpose in everything that happens.

Be Thankful

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“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” – Oprah Winfrey

Sometimes gratitude can just be a matter of perspective.
I Am Thankful For..

…the mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends.

…the taxes I pay because it means that I am employed.

…the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat.

…my shadow who watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.

…a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means that I have a home.

…the spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking.

…all the complaining I hear about our government because it means we have freedom of speech.

…my huge heating bill because it means that I am warm.

…the lady behind me in church who sings off key because it means I can hear.

…the piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby.

…the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it means that I’m alive.

…weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been productive.

Family Circle – November 1999

Knowing When to Make the BIG Move

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So, you just got the news from the doctor, and you walk away feeling like Wiley Coyote post-falling-grand-piano-accident.  You’re shocked and crushed, but also somewhat validated.  You knew something was wrong, but you’d hoped…not this. 

Your loved one has dementia.

You instantly picture the first conversations about this after diagnosis. The arguments. The heartache. You imagine telling your family and friends. Who will make the decisions? Will your newly diagnosed loved one LET YOU delegate, or even HELP?

Maybe you have quite the support system.  Maybe you’re utterly alone.  Either way, inevitably, dementia will progress, and your loved one will change. 

Dementia is virtually impossible to predict, and it affects everyone very differently.  There are many different kinds of dementia.  And dementia is full of unpleasant surprises, sometimes on a daily basis.

No matter how much patience, understanding, compassion, and–for goodness sake—LOVE you have in your heart for this person, your loved one is going to need a kind of help that you simply are not able to provide.  You cannot provide this for them because you are not a trained professional.  You have a job, a life, other responsibilities you need to attend to.  You have your own health to contend with.  And you cannot provide the care they really need, because—let’s face it—it’s too personal.

So, stop beating yourself up.  It’s time to think about THE BIG MOVE.  It’s time to look into memory care communities.

But sometimes your loved one seems to be ok.

The problem is dementia is unpredictable.  Today they may have forgotten that they asked the same question over and over.  But tomorrow they may take a double dose of their pills because they forgot they took the first one.  Or wander along a busy street looking for who knows what. 

So, what can you do?

First, educate yourself.  I highly recommend The 36 Hour Day by Nancy L. Mace and Peter V. Rabins. 

Two, look at multiple memory care communities.  They are not all the same, and one may stand apart in a way that will fit your loved one perfectly. 

Three, DO NOT—I repeat—DO NOT WAIT TOO LONG.  As their dementia progresses, their care needs will increase.  You do not want to have to make this decision because it’s suddenly an emergency.

Finally, be confident that you will make the best decision for your loved one.

Article Provided by:
Waterhouse Ridge
©Kyah Feldes 2018
503-747-0648
www.WaterhouseRidge.com

SAGE Metro Portland LGBT Resources

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The Current Problem: A 2014 study by the Equal Rights Center found that 48% of LGBT-identified seniors “experienced unfavorable differential treatment in terms of availability of housing, pricing, financial incentives, amenities or application requirements.” Many LGBT older adults are forced to hide their sexual orientation and/or gender identity to avoid mistreatment, harassment and discrimination in senior living environments.

The Solution:  SAGE Metro Portland developed the Housing Equality Survey Tool, used to vet and identify LGBT-friendly housing providers in our area. In 2015, SAGE Metro Portland published the nation’s first local consumer guide to finding safe and welcoming housing for LGBT people as they age. The survey is now being replicated in other parts of the country.

In an effort to broaden our reach to consumers and to include more housing providers, we are launching a new partnership with our friends at Retirement Connection who have agreed to add a highlight “LGBT Designated” housing communities. This will provide more choices for LGBT older adult consumers when shopping for housing. To become “LGBT Designated” communities have shown a commitment to going above to become more educated and inclusive. This process includes minor adjustments to some and policies, as well as, ongoing staff trainings. The communities that chose to become “LGBT Designated” prior to printing the current edition, are listed on the page to the right. More will be added as we grow the program and increase awareness.

SAGE Metro Portland, a program of Friendly House, seeks to enrich the lives of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) people aged 60+ throughout the Metro region. For over 15 years, SAGE Metro Portland has been the preeminent social service organization focused on developing strengths and overcoming challenges for this vulnerable population.

We Offer:

  • Case Management/Options Counseling
  • Caregiver Support
  • Information and Referral Services
  • Trainings
  • Community Outreach
  • Activities and Special Events
  • Friendly Visitor Volunteer Program
  • Advocacy

Do you live or work in an LGBT-friendly senior living Community? If so, we want to hear from you!

To become an LGBT Designated Senior Living Community, or for more information, email:
mmicozzi@friendlyhouseinc.org

Article Provided by:
SAGE Metro Portland
(Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders)
mmicozzi@friendlyhouseinc.org

Senior Referral Agencies

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It is nearly impossible to be objective when helping a family member make the transition from their own home to a senior care situation.  What makes this so difficult? 

We have hope for improvement. When we love someone, we never want to “give up” on them.  We hold a deep-seated belief that if we keep looking for solutions, treatments or therapies, our loved one will get better.  Unfortunately, the aging process of both the body and the mind is a downhill path.  What makes things confusing is that in our world of information and options, we are compelled to continue seeking solutions.  Further clouding the situation is that the downhill decline is not always noticeable. Older adults have good days and bad days. 
When a loved one has good days, we don’t want to disrupt the quality of life we see them experiencing.

We remember them as they were.  It’s easy for us to take notice when a friend is struggling with caring for an aging parent; when it’s our own parent, we frequently can’t see the obvious changes that are occurring. We remember the strong and capable adult of the past.
We don’t want to acknowledge the changes because then there will have to be difficult and disruptive decisions that needs to be made.

Family dynamics can cloud the real issues. Family members may disagree on what care is needed, and it is often the case that one or more people may purposefully attempt to convince the family to allow the older adult to remain in their own home.  Sometimes in-home care is a good solution, and other times it is not a workable or feasible long-term solution.
Allowing our own personal preferences to cloud our thinking is not helpful to a frail senior. Enlisting knowledgeable outside help who look at your situation and help introduce you to specific senior care communities will reduce the amount of family conflict. 

How you benefit from having a neutral third party. Referral agents begin by asking questions to become clear on how they can best help you. Generally, our services are paid for by the provider.  Whether you choose to look at options on your own or whether you enlist the help of a referral agency, the rent and care fees you pay are the same. 

The senior referral industry is regulated by The Oregon Department of Human Services.  All senior referral agencies are required to register with the OREGON Department of Human Services.  All agents must meet DHS guidelines to register and must follow the rules set forth by DHS to ensure families are receiving quality information by qualified individuals. Referral agents do not make decisions for you, but they help frame situations to allow you to understand what options you have and they support you in your decision-making process.

Be extremely cautious about searching the Internet for options. Placing your name into various websites can launch a barrage of phone calls of solicitations from businesses and agencies that aren’t even of interest to you. 

Article Provided by:
1st Choice Senior Care
800-361-0138
www.ChoiceAdvisory.com

Is a Reverse Mortgage Right for You?

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For many Americans, their house is their greatest asset. They’ve spent years working to build the equity in their home and, at a certain point, it may become time to put that equity to work. Often, savings, Social Security and pensions can’t keep up with the increasing cost of living and living longer. NRMLA President and CEO Peter Bell states, “If you consider that the typical retiree household might have one or two incomes from Social Security, a modest pension and/or limited income from low-yielding fixed-income instruments, and, perhaps, a diminished 401(k) account, then home equity becomes their greatest asset and an important resource for funding their future.”

According to the Bipartisan Policy Center2, more than 70% of Americans 65 and over will require help with bathing, food preparation, dressing and medication management; whether it’s a home health aide, community-based day care or nursing facility, long-term service costs can drain retirement savings.  A recent AARP3 survey found that 3 in 4 adults age 50 and older want to stay in their homes as they age, but only 46% anticipate being able to do so. That’s where home equity solutions can help.

The Home Equity Conversion Mortgage (HECM) loan is a viable tool in retirement planning. HECM loans are government-insured and have several important requirements borrowers must meet to qualify:

  • They must be at least 62 years old
  • They must own your home
  • The home must be their primary residence

Retirees often need access to additional funds to supplement health insurance in order to cover expenses like in-home care. Many incorrectly believe that medical insurance will cover in-home or long-term care. A HECM can be the solution for retirees hoping to age in place, in the comfort of their home. Because no two situations are alike, there are several different types of HECM loans available to meet individual needs. Proceeds can be taken in a lump sum, established as a growing line of credit, received as fixed monthly payments, or a combination of these.

There are many features of HECM loans that can help those who are looking for an income supplement for a better retirement. Here are just a few!

  • No monthly mortgage payments so long as the borrower continues to pay property taxes homeowner’s insurance, and home maintenance costs
  • Tax-free loan proceeds can be used to cover expenses like health care or home modifications
  • Staying in the home they love

You cannot lose your home under normal circumstances and so long as you pay your property taxes, homeowner’s insurance, maintenance costs and otherwise comply with the loan terms.

For full disclosure visit
www.americanadvisorsgroup.com/disclosure.

Article Provided By:
American Advisors Group (AAG)
503-396-6333
www.AAG.com

Respite Care: Self-Health isn’t Selfish

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Providing care for a loved one can become quite grueling for both the family caregiver and the patient. Caregivers may find themselves feeling burned out from the stress of consistent assistance, often falling into troubling sleeping patterns and neglecting their own self-care. Respite Care provides a mutually beneficial third party resource for caregiver and patient, in which additional short-term assistance is made available in forms such as adult day centers, in-home care and counseling services, or as recovery from a hospital stay.  It’s clear that a family caregiver is only as effective as his or her own self-health, and as the emotional weight of an aging loved one persists, taking a break to relax and recalibrate becomes invaluable.

Where to Find Respite Care?

Short term stays at assisted living or nursing facilities, along with additional information including webinars and Medicaid/Medicare assistance can be found at the ARCH National Respite Network’s Respite Locator: https://archrespite.org/us-map. By simply entering the age of the patient, along with the State, Zip Code, and preferred mile radius, you will find plenty of Respite options at your fingertips.

What does Respite Care Provide?

Respite care amenities may vary by community but will typically provide 24-hour supervision, bathing assistance, meals, and medication management. This resource can be for an afternoon or up to a couple weeks.

What are the benefits of Respite Care?

Respite care provides the necessary perspective into the reality of a caregiving situation. The emotional and physical toll of caring for a loved one can never be overlooked. Maintaining a special connection against the persistence of relentless dementia is profoundly draining. As a caregiver finds their own lives changing and slipping away from them, the quality of care often dwindles, as exhaustion and frustration can start to damage this relationship in the last couple years they have together.

Access to Respite as a temporary resource allows the caregiver to simply get back to their own lives for some time. From simple sleep and relaxation to going out with friends or running errands, this bit of freedom is a way to recharge the batteries and reassess the balance necessary to maintain their own self-health.

It’s hard to acknowledge that family caregiving is often a necessary undertaking in which all parties involved wished it wasn’t necessary. Respite provides a valuable outlet for the guilt a caregiver is prone to feel when they stop and think about themselves in these troubling times. The assistance of Respite care can assure that the threshold of caregiving remains an active task to help a loved one in their final years, as opposed to a burden.

Article Provided By:
Retirement Connection
www.RetirementConnection.com

Do you have a bucket list? Not that bucket list, the one for downsizing!

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Starting the downsizing process well in advance of a move or de-cluttering your home early can save time, headaches, stress, and dollars later. Do you really need that much stuff in your home?  More stuff equals more stress. More clutter equals more dust.  Getting rid of the excess stuff and clutter can make your house easier to clean, create a healthier environment for you, and save you money on costs. Do you have a storage unit? Why? When is the last time you took anything out?

Before we talk bucket list, let’s talk about why we keep things too long.  The most common reasons are:

But I have to keep it…..

1. It is a family heirloom

2.  It was given to me as a gift

3. I might need it someday

4. I paid a lot of money for it

All very valid.  Give it to another family member who may even cherish the treasure more.  Give it as a gift to a charity. Now pick a room to start in! Begin in one corner and go clockwise around the room (or counter-clockwise, whichever keeps you going).  Look in every nook, cranny, and storage unit. Use the OHIO rule. Only Handle It Once.  If you touch it, it belongs in a “bucket”.

Here is your bucket list so you can start living your real Bucket List:

1. Keep it and/or move it. These are your treasures and you have reason to keep them.

2. Give it to family.  We have many ideas to help facilitate this.  Give us a call.

3. Sell it. Craigslist, eBay, Amazon, or estate sale? All are valid options. We can help you decide which method is best.

4. Donate it. There are many charities who would love to have your excess stuff.  Some will pick up and some will not. Some will take electronics and mattresses, some will not. We have relationships with many charities near and far and can help expedite the excess treasures to new homes.

5. Recycle and dispose. Sort through all of that paper.  Only keep what is really important, shred what is sensitive, and recycle what is left. Depending on the amount remaining after filling all the other buckets, you may be able to fill a garbage can or a large dumpster.

A Senior Move Manager (a trademarked term through the NASMM) can provide guidance, encouragement, and hands-on help to help you STAY in your home.  Working closely with a senior move manager that you can rely on and trust may give you great peace of mind. Most importantly, allowing a senior move manager to help with the move frees up time so that you can spend quality time with your family rather than focusing on all the action items. You can go through cherished memories and create new ones, while the senior move manager takes care of all of the details and the worry.

Article Provided By:
Soft Ladings for Seniors
503-893-4252
www.SoftLandingsforSeniors.com

Navigating Hospice: What You Need to Know

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Considering and beginning hospice care are sensitive times not only for the individual but for their loved ones too. Here are answers to a few questions to help as you begin this journey. 

What is hospice?

Those who receive hospice care are seeking comfort and compassion as they near the end of life. The goal of hospice is to help the patient rest comfortably. Caregivers focus on providing comfort, companionship, and peace.

They provide care wherever the individual calls home, whether it be their own home, a skilled nursing facility, an assisted living community, or an adult foster home.

What does hospice care involve?

Hospice care includes four levels of care: routine home care, continuous care, general inpatient care, and respite care.

Routine home care is a starting point for most patients in hospice because it allows the patient to live wherever they call home while receiving the care they need to help them feel comfortable.

Continuous care is provided for brief periods when the patient has high needs. Hospice nurses or aids care for these patients round-the-clock to avoid hospitalization.

General inpatient care includes any needs that can’t be managed at home. Patients needing this type of care are sent to a hospital or inpatient unit until their symptoms are alleviated enough to be able to return to their home.

Respite care is temporary care provided to give family caregivers a break.

How will I know when it’s time to consider hospice?

The right time for hospice is different for each individual and family. Hospice is an individualized approach to end-of-life care. It meets the patient wherever they are in their care.

Frequent hospitalization, doctor visits, and skilled nursing stays are a few factors to watch for. Talk with a physician to discuss what will work best for your loved one.

My family member is ready for hospice. Where do I begin?

People who qualify for hospice have a life expectancy of six months or less. To determine if your loved one is ready for hospice, he or she needs recommendations from two physicians. They will determine the life expectancy based on a physical assessment, medical history, and other diagnoses.

How long does hospice care last?

Hospice is an elected benefit meant to serve patients in the last six months of their lives. Your loved one is welcome to remain in hospice care as long as they meet the criteria.

Some patients remain on hospice longer than six months and some improve and graduate from hospice care, moving on to independent living or home health. Others remain in hospice care and receive help and comfort as they and their families prepare. 

Article Provided By:
Signature Healthcare at Home
800-936-4756
www.SignatureHCH.com